the wait is over
After 4.5 months of waiting, US Immigration granted me my O-1 Extraordinary Ability Artist Visa. I am beyond elated and relieved. I submitted my application in November, and went through many stages of waiting; patience, impatience, nervousness, stress, anxiety, panic, acceptance. And I repeated that cycle several times.
Needless to say, I finally feel as though I can get my life started again, and begin writing my next chapter. I'm legally allowed to work again, to travel, to earn more, and most importantly, to become the extraordinary photographer I set out to be. Thank you to everyone who supported by journey, and to my sponsor and art agent EOArts.
'A Spring Thing' Thank You!
On Thursday evening, Camera of the Month Club hosted 'A Spring Thing,' our first pop-up show. We partnered with Ground Floor Gallery for the event, and we worked our magic to put together the show in just one week! We had a great turnout last night, over 70 people were in attendance. Ten CMC members showed their work, an eclectic mix of analog, digital, iPhone and Polaroid work.
To see our photos, please stop by Friday 2-6PM, Saturday 12-6PM, and Sunday 11-5PM. We'd love to see you!
a week in the palms
6 days in Sarasota did not produce the warm sun, golden tan, or legions of couples displaying affection for a new Beach Lovers body of work as I would have hoped. I shut out the panic that was setting in, and concentrated on doing what I came to do: shoot photos. Looking past the strip malls that litter the landscape, and taking my camera into frigid winds that cleared the beaches, I found beautiful moments of solitude, splashes of tropical color and older couples who nuzzled closer together to keep warm. Those photos will reveal themselves soon when I get them developed, but for now, please enjoy this vibrant rainbow of Southwest Florida.
Beach Lovers Heads South
With some down time in my life before things get hectic again, I decided to get away for a few days to Florida. My motivation was new Beach Lovers material for my April show. My uncle lives here, so it made for an easy, affordable getaway.
I am halfway into this working vacation, and have been saying a prayer for warmer weather and more sun since I got here. I'm making the most of my cloudy days, by being creative with my cool, rainy surroundings. I'm staying hopeful about making some Florida Beach Lovers photos. Stay tuned.
Jonas
It's hard to believe that a week ago, NYC was hit with one of the biggest snowstorms ever recorded. It's already a distant memory, as the sun shines bright and most of the snow is now grey, dirty slush puddles.
It was a magical day; the city came to a halt, the streets were silent and those of us who braved the snow, greeted each other with warm, small-town smiles and hellos. Here are a few of those snowflakes.
On 2015
with my beloved Polaroid 600
I haven't written a post in over two months, and I won't say that I have been "too busy" as so many of us do in NYC. Instead, so much has happened that I didn't know where to start, so I simply stopped writing.
I spent most of the Fall working on a massive application for my O-1 Foreign Artist visa, and it nearly took over my life. I ate, slept and breathed immigration, photography and thinking about my future for almost three months, and taking consistent photos fell to the back burner. The application is submitted, and I am waiting patiently for the good news.
I finally have some time to reflect on 2015, and how proud I am of the year that was. Between my Santa Fe Photo Workshop scholarship, my first solo show "Beach Lovers", and Camera of the Month Club's first group show, I am really proud of the fruits of my photographic labor. 2015 closed on an incredible high note, and I want to thank everyone who supported me along the way. I have already secured another solo show for Spring 2016, Camera of the Month Club is planning its year ahead, and the wheels are turning already. Stay tuned for what's next, and stay creative!
A Year in Photographs
This past weekend, Camera of the Month Club, celebrated its one year anniversary with our first group show, A Year in Photographs. Nine group member exhibited the best of their work from a year in monthly assignments, and we compiled a group collage of Polaroid photos. We were thrilled with the attendance, over 100 people were in attendance. We boasted a live Polaroid booth, and two photos were sold.
A big thank you to Brooklyn Brewery for the drinks, QNS Collective for the space, and A Name You Can Trust DJs for the music.
Beach Loving Thank You!
Last week, I held my first ever solo show, debuting my series Beach Lovers, at Ground Floor Gallery. I was equally nervous and excited in the weeks leading up to the show, and I went through every emotion possible. And now that it's over, I'm feeling elated and grateful.
Once the rain cleared away, and 6PM rolled around, over sixty people came and went throughout the night. Friends, acquaintances, colleagues and strangers, it was wonderful. I sold three prints! I couldn't have asked for a better evening.
Thank you to my mentor and advisor Natasha Frisch who helped me set up the show and take these wonderful photos.
One Week Countdown until Beach Lovers
In just one week, I'll be debuting photos from my series, Beach Lovers, in my first solo show at Ground Floor Gallery. Preparing for this show has meant a roller-coaster of emotions for me and non-stop work, and I am growing more excited by the day.
Putting together an art show requires patience and thick skin. I have had to wear the hats of artist, publicist, curator, marketing director and social media promoter. All the while, I've had to endure my own self-doubt and I have talked myself off the ledge of canceling all together for fear no one would come. But as the saying goes about art shows, "They always open, " and I am proud and excited about the work I have selected to show next week.
I hope to see you on Wednesday September 9th, at 343 5th Street, Park Slope, Brooklyn, 6-9PM!
Many thanks to Natasha Frisch and Krista Saunda Scenna at Ground Floor Gallery for their advice and support.
Profiles Opening
I am thrilled to have been included in the group show, Profiles: New Photography, at Shoe String Press Gallery in Crown Heights. Over 150 images were submitted, and ten photos were selected to be printed by Shoe String Press.
A big thank you to the gallery for the print, and to all my friends for coming to opening this past Friday night. The show will be up until September 8th, I hope you can stop by!
Beach Lovers
My best friends tells me that I am hopeless romantic.
I work for an organization called LOVE. I have the word love tattooed on my middle finger. I study couples regularly, on the subway, in restaurants, walking down the street holding hands, and I often smile to myself, catching a small glimpse into their happiness. I often wonder how they met.
Maybe my friend is right about me.
But there is a lot of cynicism about finding love in NYC. I have read countless articles and listened to many friends lament that it is nearly impossible to meet anyone here. There are so many options, so many beautiful people, why settle for one.
I’ve never really shared that sentiment. Great love can be found in NYC. What other choice do we have? The city is too big, too harsh, too cold, for its citizens to go through life forever alone, or forever searching. We all need someone to soften our hard hearts, to partake in those long subway commutes, to share a secret smile with because the world around us is so serious. Whether that love lasts one night, 3 months, 3 years or 30, great love is possible in NYC.
I have always wanted to capture the love I see around me in my photos. I have watched so many beautiful love stories unfold in my nine years here, and I have struggled to tell the stories successfully. It finally occurred to me that I should do so through my beach photography. I have been shooting the Rockaway Beaches for almost five years now, and I have wanted a new direction for some time. My new direction is Beach Lovers, and I am very excited about it. In its simplest form, Beach Lovers is the story of lovers at the beach.
Because I am there so often, I spend a lot of time observing beach-goers; their bodies swaying in the waves, splayed out half-asleep on sandy towels, or chasing small children around with more sunscreen. People from all walks of life descend upon the city’s shorelines to enjoy sunny days and salty nights. We are raw and exposed on the beach, stripped of our clothes, our makeup, our status markers. We create nostalgic, sun-soaked memories with our friends and lovers. We leave behind our worries and responsibilities for a few hours, and our most youthful selves shine through. I see people at their happiest in those moments.
When I catch small moments of tenderness between couples at the beach, whether sharing a picnic, some long laughs, or a lazy limb-entwined nap on a beach blanket, I see romance in its purest state. I hope to illustrate that with Beach Lovers, and I look forward to where this journey takes me. Maybe I'll even melt some cynical hearts, even just a bit.
Thank You!
Thank you to Beth Perkins for the portraits!
Thank you to everyone who came to see Picture Rockaway, I truly appreciate it! It was such a thrill to have my photos hanging in Rockaway, my home away from home. It is equally humbling and incredibly affirming to have one's artwork hanging on a gallery wall, no matter how big or small the venue. I could not have asked for a more fitting gallery space for my Rockaway photos than just steps away from the ocean. The show was a big success, and I was incredibly honored and grateful to Rockaway Beach Surf Club for asking us keep the show up for an extra week.
See you at the next show!
It's Show Time
I am so happy to announce I will be part of a group photo show for a week in May, and I want you to join me for this exciting event!
Kick off summer this upcoming Memorial Day Weekend at Rockaway Surf Club for Picture Rockaway: A Photo Show! Join Nick Girlando, Andreea Piccaru Waters and myself, in collaboration with Locals Surf School and Rockaway Surf Club, on Saturday May 23rd for their Locals Summer Kick Off Party. The show will be a collection of photos illustrating our love for surfing and the Rockaway Beaches.
I am so excited to be a part of this show. I learned to surf in Summer 2012, the year Locals Surf School was established, and I have since been become friends with its founders. Locals has grown into a Rockaway establishment, and I am so happy for the continued success of this young company. Being a part of the photo show during their kick-off party feels like I have come full circle, and I couldn't be happier about it.
See you on May 23rd at 7PM. Delicious tacos, summer tunes and dancing, and stunning beach photography.
Santa Fe
It is not lost on me that my last essay was a reflection on picking myself up after I had been rejected in the art world, so I write this post with even more excitement. I was chosen as a scholarship recipient to attend Santa Fe Photography Workshops this summer!
Last week when my phone rang, I paused before answering when I saw the New Mexico area code. I had a quick drop of excitement in my stomach, and it hit me, I think this is it. I got it! I answered the phone, and a lady from the Workshops congratulated me and informed me that my application was accepted and I had won A Natural Eye Workshop Scholarship. I had submitted a letter of intent, two letters of recommendation and a portfolio of 20 photos, and they had chosen me. I am beyond thrilled and honored.
I'll be attending a 5-day workshop with Photography teacher Eddie Soloway, and it's going to be a week of technical lessons, daily image reviews, one-to-one meetings, and outdoor photo adventures. I studied with Eddie in 2013, and I absorbed everything like a sponge. I was blown away by Santa Fe's colors, smells, atmosphere, and I left determined to get myself back there as quickly as possible. Now it's two years later, and I know the week is going to help me take my work to another level. I cannot wait to be a student again.
Here is a sample from my 2013 trip: Santa Fe.
On Rejection
Standing proudly by one's work is equally scary and exhilarating. 2014.
Rejection is a universal human experience. It is a particularly awful one, and it can rob you of your confidence. Rejection in the art world is especially soul-crushing. You (the artist) submit your work; vulnerable, hopeful, excited, exhausted. You wait. And then a "we regret to inform you..." appears.
My work! You say to yourself. How could it be? Can't they see my talent, don't they get my vision? (Or at least, I said this to myself.)
I was recently turned down for a gallery membership at a gallery I really admire, and did their 'No' ever sting. It HURT, it really hurt.
Prior to my application, I sat with an experienced photographer on several occasions to review my photos and discussion my portfolio. I felt confident dropping it off, and left with a bounce in my step.
When I returned, I anticipated a 'Welcome to the Gallery' response, and I was giddy with nervous excitement. A small group laid out my photos in front of me, informed me that there had been strong debate over my portfolio, but ultimately were not going to accept me. While I had several images that stood out, overall the portfolio was not membership-ready. Then they proceeded to go through the list of improvements I needed to make. The photos lay there taunting me, evidence of my failure.
I was crushed; devastated, even. I went home, sat on my couch and cried for a very long time. I wanted to give up, to throw a childish temper tantrum. Enough with the rejections, unreturned emails, failed attempts at making a photography life for myself! I was over it.
My tears eventually subsided, and many supportive people in my life, who believe in me and my work, helped me pick myself up. A little voice inside me told me not to give up, to stop wallowing and feeling sorry for myself. I have been through enough shit, and I wasn't going to let one gallery stop me from pursuing something that I am really good at, and that I love as much as I do. And I had to admit to myself, the portfolio committee had made valid points. I am still an emerging photographer. I have so much to learn. Working with their feedback would only make me a better photographer, and I was able to get over the sting of being rejected a lot quicker. I might even face more rejection in the future in the art world, and that is part of being an artist.
At the end of the day, I stand by the work I submitted, I am proud of it, and I only want to make it better. I am determined to reapply and be accepted by the gallery this year. The art world is a hard nut to crack. The art world in NYC, even harder. But as the saying goes, try, try, and try again.
One day in the near future, I'll be writing a post about how good it feels to be accepted. Stay tuned.
Six Months.
Today is the 6-month anniversary of the Camera of the Month Club!
I founded the Camera of the Month Club in September 2014. I wanted to meet and bring together talented people who were also passionate about trying new things. I love working with different cameras, so I created a club in which we shoot with a different format each month. I sought the partnership of SohoPhoto Gallery, and we use their space every month for our meetings.
I am happy to say I have created a monthly gathering space for Camera Club members to share their photos, give and receive constructive feedback, and use a variety of cameras, without the costs and fees of photography classes in NYC. I'm really excited about all the photographers I've met over the last 6 months, and I can't wait to continue watching this project grow. My hope is to develop a camera library and put on a show in the Fall.
Join us tonight at 6:30 for our monthly meeting! 15 White Street.
Travel, travel!
Sunset in Mal Pais, Costa Rica
After almost a month on my own in Costa Rica, I am back to the very cold reality that is NYC. I have been mulling over my lessons learned, and two stand out to me.
Bring the Right Cameras
This trip invigorated me from head to toe, and I couldn't have been happier to wait on the 6 rolls of film I snapped while away (the 7th got ruined). I was thrilled with the results, which you can find on the Costa Rica page of this site. The photographic formula of a film camera and my iPhone 5 was perfect. There's no 'right' camera to take--whatever you feel most comfortable shooting with, and what will fit in your travel bags. My film camera (Canon AE-1) allowed me to be selective and purposeful in my approach, only shooting what really stood out to me. My iPhone was perfect for capturing some awe-inspiring images and memories, particularly for social media sharing.
After a hike up Cerro Chato Volcano trail, and mudslide-induced panic attack, my legs were raw, bruised and battered.
Get Outside Of Your Comfort Zone
It sounds cliche, but I challenged myself to get outside of my comfort zone and did several things that scared me. A crazy uphill volcano hike, coming down from a panic attack during a mudslide during the hike, a steep downhill ATV ride, surfing every day in rough waters, silencing my mind in daily 30-minute meditation, going it all alone during my whole trip, and making new friends along the way. All of these things were scary in some way, and all of them made me a stronger person. And the photos during these experiences are priceless!
Travel experiences like these take planning and money and time, but they are worth every bit of what you put in. I am so grateful to have experienced what I did. Travel is exhilarating, travel is hard, travel is liberating. So I encourage you, urge you, and beseech you--travel!! Travel because you can. Travel because you should. Travel because it will remind you how big the world is, how wonderful humanity can be, how much beauty there is to discover.
Word of Advice: make sure your film doesn't go through the airport X-Ray machine, and always travel with your phone in a shatter-proof case. I learned the hard way.
Camera of the Month Club: Companionship
a sweet moment between companions, 11/9
November 18th marks the 3rd meeting of the Camera of the Month Club! I am very excited about this group and I am eager to see it grow. November's camera was DSLR of one's choice, and our chosen theme was Companionship.
Join us at Soho Photo Gallery, 15 White street, tonight at 6:30. Meet new and returning members, share your best photos from our November Photo Assignment, and have some wine! Photographers will be expected to bring 6-8 prints, and we will share and give feedback to as many photos as time permits.
See you at 6:30!
On Selfies: The Modern Day Self-Portrait, Female Empowerment & Beauty
We have witnessed the rise of ‘The Selfie” over the last five years, most notably on Instagram. A ‘selfie’ is a picture of one self, often taken at arms length, sometimes filtered and doctored up to present your best you. As it relates to photography, the popularity of selfies inspired me to think about the intersections of the self-portrait, female empowerment and beauty.
Women of all ages have taken to selfies in record numbers. At first, it feels easy to scoff at. It’s vain. It’s silly. It’s narcissistic. I myself have often poked fun at women who post countless selfies. I have also been made fun of for posting my own. Self-portraits have long been heralded as a recognized form of fine art photography. So why is there so often contempt for those who post selfies? Could they mean something? Are we simply after approval, or is there something more to it than that?
I had a real 'Aha!' moment last night when I realized how empowering it was to control my own image, to capture myself looking exactly as I want to look, as I want to feel. I get to say what is beautiful to me, and for me. Not a magazine, billboard or music video. Not the narrow definition of beauty the mainstream media forces down our throat. Not the decades-old tradition of male photographers capturing female beauty. Me, capturing me.
I came across this article, “Selfies as Self Love” and it completely changed the way I felt about selfies. “The real anxiety with girls and selfies is that selfies might provide girls with the means to create their own positive image of themselves, thereby severely diluting the impact of outside opinion.” Boom! We get to decide how we look, at any moment of the day. Women feeling good about themselves and controlling their own images is incredibly powerful thing. Perhaps even revolutionary. Maybe these selfies aren’t so bad after all.
In the art world, male photographers have take photos of women for decades. These photos have filled the walls of the world’s top museums and galleries. When women take photos of themselves, it's a "statement" (a la Cindy Sherman) or considered vanity. We are supposed to be subject to the lens, unquestioning. We have been the object of the Male Gaze for centuries in the art world, and women artists and photographers have long challenged that, albeit with much less fanfare from the art world. Now women of all walks of life are able to challenge that too.
We are told since birth that beauty is one of the most important virtues a woman has. We are taught that beauty is a currency. The beauty that is fed to us by the mainstream media is heavily manufactured, and we are taught to do everything we can to achieve that very narrow definition of beauty. For many of us, we look nothing like the women we are told we should look like. For others, our identities are underrepresented, distorted, over-sexualized or absent. If we don’t look a certain way, there is a multi-billion dollar industry built on feeding our anxieties about our looks and bodies, and only the right products, surgeries, creams, or clothes will help. Many of us know this is bullshit, but sometimes it’s hard to ignore the messages, and we turn to judging ourselves, our friends and other women as a result.
I've had a complicated relationship with beauty for most of my life. I was taught not to be too concerned with my looks, and when I was caught spending too much time in the mirror, I was admonished for being vain. I'd quickly drop my stare, or deny I was looking at myself for too long. But I couldn’t ignore society’s pressure to look good, to look beautiful, to always be better. My teen years into my early 20s was very rough. I dealt with braces, weight gain, bad acne and a short haircut that did not flatter my face. My self-confidence was as low as it could get. I hated my reflection, and I started to hate myself. My early 20s were a time of religious exercise and calorie counting, but a slow easing of my self-hatred. My mid to late 20 I finally gained some confidence in my looks. I balanced working out and eating what I wanted. I started to really enjoy my looks and body and having fun with fashion. I learned to enjoy being a woman and eased into my skin as I got older.
Turning 30, (and now 31), has been a time of reflection for me, in all aspects of my life. I'll be honest, some of that time has gotten me thinking about my looks and how they're changing as I get older. Some days I feel quite beautiful and confident, and I am happy with my looks and my body. Other days I fall into a dark hole of self-loathing, finding fault in everything from fine lines on my forehead to a body that could use a bit more curve. Aging terrifies me, and I'm ashamed to admit it. I am a proud feminist and pro-body acceptance, but sometimes it isn’t so easy to practice what you preach. Society tells me I'm at the point in my life where my most beautiful days are behind me and it's a downhill battle from here. Some days I buy into that wholly.
I am not advocating prioritizing your looks over everything else. Certainly, your passions, friends, family, adventure, career, travel and self-fulfillment are crucial to our self-worth and happiness. But I am for feeling good about yourself, on your terms, and loving your face and body the way they, at any age, shape or size. And if part of that feeling good is taking a selfie or two, then why not?
I hope to challenge myself from buying into the notion my best years are behind me, and continue to love myself into my 30s, 40s and 50s, and beyond.
I'll probably take lots of selfies along the way.